Parenting is a journey filled with countless decisions, each with its own set of challenges and rewards. Among the more debated choices is how to teach children the values of gratitude and remorse—often expressed through the simple phrases “thank you” and “sorry.” However, one mother, Emma, has made the unconventional decision to no longer insist that her son, Georgie, use these phrases, believing that there is a deeper, more meaningful way to instill these values.
For many, teaching children to say “thank you” and “sorry” is a fundamental part of upbringing. These words are seen as the building blocks of polite society, essential for teaching children how to interact respectfully with others. However, Emma has observed that these words can sometimes become empty gestures, used out of obligation rather than sincere feeling. She recalls instances where Georgie would say “thank you” or “sorry” without truly understanding or feeling the emotions behind the words.
“I realized that I was teaching him to go through the motions rather than helping him to understand and express genuine gratitude or remorse,” Emma explained. This realization prompted her to rethink how she was instilling these values in her son.
Emma’s approach to parenting is rooted in the belief that actions speak louder than words. Rather than compelling Georgie to say “thank you” when receiving a gift, she focuses on teaching him to appreciate the gesture genuinely. “When someone gives Georgie something, I want him to recognize the thought and effort behind it, and express his gratitude in a way that feels authentic to him,” she said.
Similarly, when it comes to apologies, Emma no longer insists that Georgie say “sorry” immediately after making a mistake or hurting someone. Instead, she encourages him to reflect on his actions and understand why they were hurtful. “I want Georgie to apologize because he genuinely feels remorseful, not because he feels pressured to say the words,” Emma shared. She believes that this approach will help Georgie develop a stronger moral compass and a deeper understanding of his impact on others.
Emma’s decision has not come without criticism. Many people have questioned her methods, arguing that saying “thank you” and “sorry” are essential social skills that children must learn early on. However, Emma stands by her approach, believing that it fosters a more genuine and empathetic understanding of these concepts.
Despite the pushback, Emma has seen positive changes in Georgie since adopting this approach. He has become more thoughtful and considerate in his interactions with others, often finding unique ways to express his gratitude and apologies. “Georgie might not always say ‘thank you’ or ‘sorry,’ but when he does express these feelings, it’s from the heart,” she noted.
Emma’s story reflects a growing movement among some parents who are rethinking traditional approaches to parenting. This approach, which places a greater emphasis on emotional intelligence and genuine connection, is seen by many as a way to raise children who are more empathetic, self-aware, and capable of forming meaningful relationships.
Critics of Emma’s methods argue that children need to learn the social scripts of politeness to navigate the world effectively. They suggest that saying “thank you” and “sorry” is not just about the words themselves but about teaching children the importance of acknowledging others’ feelings and contributions.
Emma does not entirely disagree. She understands the value of teaching children these words but believes that they should be taught in a way that emphasizes understanding rather than rote repetition. “It’s not about rejecting ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry’ altogether,” she said. “It’s about ensuring that when my son says these words, they carry the weight of his genuine feelings.”
As Georgie grows older, Emma plans to continue refining her approach, adapting it to his developmental needs. She hopes that by fostering a deep sense of empathy and authenticity, Georgie will grow into a kind, thoughtful adult who understands the power of his words and actions.
In the end, Emma’s story serves as a reminder that parenting is a deeply personal journey. While traditional methods have their place, there is also room for innovation and experimentation in how we teach our children to navigate the complexities of human relationships. Whether you agree with her approach or not, Emma’s commitment to raising her son with empathy and understanding is a powerful example of the lengths parents will go to in their quest to do what they believe is best for their children.
